Metro Dude

I know this is really naughty of me to talk about a legal case before it properly gets to court, but it’s been reported on Reuters and she went on the “Today” show so I guess if they’re going to have me up for contempt I’ll be in good company.

Here’s what happened. A woman in America was doing something with a Victoria’s Secret thong (let’s call it a g-string) and a clip that held a little gem in place did something and got her in the eye. The photo you see here is the only thong I could find on the VS site that actually had little gem studs BTW.

Well she had to go get medical help but now she’s suing Victoria’s Secret for some unknown amount of money in a product liability lawsuit.

OK, so you’re all with me so far are you? Pretty boring stuff really, and you’re wondering why I’ve bothered mentioning it. Well, you see the first thought that went through my mind is this seems like a fairly unlikely story, I would have thought you’d have to be a bit closer to the action for  one of those things to get you in the eye. I mean just look at the picture and imagine the physics involved. Those gems are pointing away from her, not up to her eye.

So, in my mind I’m thinking to myself, how did this woman get so close to her own underwear for this to happen, is she a contortionist, or was there another person in the room, perhaps someone else who was wearing the g-string? Aye, when you see it this way it makes a lot more sense.

And of course if she was with a man, well neither of them would want it getting out he was wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear, and if she was with another woman, well they might still not want the truth getting out.

So, do we have any lingerie experts who could verify my theory? Has anybody got any practical experience either way to suggest how this could happen? Would any of my lady readers care to send a photo of themselves trying out the kind of contortions that would be required to get pinged in the eye by those tricky little gems?

I’ve suddenly discovered a new found respect for George W Bush, but only because he thinks Carla Bruni, who it must be said is very hot, is a good catch for Sarkozy.

Of course, you still have to wonder about the man’s morals and ethics that he’s publicly commenting on another man’s wife. I don’t like ripping into politicians all that much but dubya is a pratt is he not? First he’s have tea with the Pope, then he cracks onto Sarkozy’s wife.

That seems a bit contradictory to me, of course I’m not American so I don’t know if thats just normal for American Presidents. Actually Clinton was pretty much the same wasn’t he? Cozying on upto world leaders and religious leaders whilst also unzipping his pants for interns.

But I must say, I feel sorry for Carla Bruni, I mean its bad enough a generation of young boys have her poster on their bedroom walls, now she has to contend with a future where every reporter for the rest of her life is going to be asking her how it feels to be the wife of the president of France and be coveted by the president of the USA.

Ladies, this is why its never a good idea to be too good looking but thank God we don’t live in medieval times anymore otherwise France and the US would be at war over who gets Carla as the prize, well at least until her looks fade and she finds herself cast out in favour of the next beauty.

Sorry to everyone who has come to expect a deliciously gorgeous vixen in my post, I thought I needed to tell you all making money online isn’t as easy as we’ve been led to believe, I’ve still not heard about whether I’ve been accepted into their program shich is a little frustrating because I really believe bloggers can help advertisers, and of course with all the hard we do promoting our blogs it’s a great way to earn a bit of pocket money to buy a CD or see a show.

So, in honour of being held back by in my money making activities I went hunting around for something a bit more interesting to write about and I came across the sexy name decoder

Get Your Sexy Name

Here’s my name rolled into a fantastic avatar with handcuffs. When I saw the handcuffs my first thought went to a big four poster bed, me, the handcuffs, and Jessica Alba in black leather and carrying a whip. Aw that gives me delightful shivers just thinking about it. Have a great day!

I love this picture of Hillary Clinton I created, I wish something like this existed for Gordon Brown as well, but since it doesn’t I’ll go with Hillary for now. I could have made her look more attractive but honestly when you’re having fun do you really want to be a spoil sport.

Actually I could see Hillary becoming a sexual fantasy to a lot of men just like Maggie Thatcher was in her day, just imagine pin up posters on garage walls all over the world featuring Hillary in a suit and flat shoes with Bill cowering in the background, better yet that wonderful smile of hers gracing the cover of Time magazine. Makes you think doesn’t.

But seriously, if she wins the presidency I think she’s gonna need a makeover. Maggie became the object of many sexual fantasies because she was tough but looked feminine, Angela Merkel in Germany is the opposite, sure she’s still feminine but I can’t imagine anyone fantasizing about her. Hillary’s choice is got the Maggie route, or the Angela route, I hope she chooses the Maggie route.

So, what does Hillary need to do to become the next Maggie? Well, I think she has to be seen to be putting Bill in his place a bit more, people need to be able to talk about Bill living in fear of his dominant wife, perhaps even looking a little frail in contrast with a stronger more assertive Hillary.

The next thing she needs to do is change her wardrobe, a skirt now and again, and a bit more makeup, not much, just enough to show a bit of womanly beauty. Then she needs to lose the sensible shoes, perhaps a slightly higher heel. And of course, and possibly more importantly, she needs to crack some heads in congress. Nobody respects a woman who lets a man take the lead in the polls.