Metro Dude

OMG, the Vatican have officially become Scientologists!

Yes you got it here first, in a surprise headline the official Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano announced “The extraterrestrial is my brother”, a story that the rest of us will no doubt be excited to hear.

For years the rest of us have known that Aliens must exist, and the overwhelming evidence coming through of the number of other planets in the universe is beginning to make the theory of humanity’s uniqueness sound more and more hollow with each passing year.

Not to be doomed to irrelevance, the Vatican has now allowed its chief astronomer, Jose Gabriel Funes, to speculate that in fact life may exist on other planets, including Mars, and that some of that extraterrestrial life may be free of original sin. Wow!

They can’t contemplate other animals on our planet being without original sin, but extraterrestrial life is different. I’ll remember that the next time a UFO picks me up to perform scientific tests on me, don’t be nervous I’ll say, even if they do prod and poke, the Vatican say they’re without original sin so it must be OK.

In fact the most interesting part of the interview with Funes is that he went on to say that humanity might in fact be the lost sheep of the Universe. They just can’t help themselves can they, even after admitting that aliens might exist, and that some might be without original sin, they still manage to put in that little clause. See we still need the priests to help us repent.

Funes went further and said that whilst the Big Bang was the most likely beginning for our universe that some alien species may have remained in full friendship with their creator. Oh heavens, do you know what this sounds like to me?

Sounds like the conspiracy people have been right all along, we really have been contacted by other species and now the Vatican has been warned to start accepting aliens presence otherwise when they finally show themselves to us the Vatican will be a laughing stock. So, I wonder how long it will be until the Vatican and Scientologists join forces? Let’s give it 10 years knowing the pace the Vatican work. What say you?

Source: Reuters